The Randomnities...

Like a fool...

2010-04-10T20:23:00.002+08:00

Felt so tired, emotionally.

Dos not like this feeling of being judged/misunderstood.

Fuck, life.

Jovan. =)

2009-10-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

And I cant wait for Jovan to grow up (W/o me aging =p ) ....

Totally Messed Up.

2009-10-13T23:43:00.002+08:00

If not for you, things will go on smoothly. You just make me hate you more. Fuck.

Spring Clean...

2009-10-12T16:43:00.005+08:00

Decided to delete this whole post. Forget it. Not impt.

Lousy Lousier Lousiest

2009-09-10T21:10:00.000+08:00

Have been feeling very lousy these days. Have been trying to suppress negative thoughts for many days. Have been telling myself everything is still good, nothing have changed. Everything is getting better... everyday. It's taking a toll on me, mentally.

And fuck, why do I felt like some selfish faggot now? You will never understand my feeling. Bye.

夹心饼干的感受。。。

2009-09-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

我再说的是夹心饼干中的淇淋的感受。。。

我真得很讨厌被夹在中间。。。人与人之间真的需要一个messenger吗？为何我每次都需要做那个中间人。。。难道我不会累吗？我也是人啊。。。你们只知道自己受了委屈，那身边的人呢？为何要透视他们呢？我真的好累。有谁了我呀。。。

Why,,,

2009-09-03T12:33:00.000+08:00

Bkk Shopping Frenzy~*!

2009-09-02T19:10:00.000+08:00

I'm back! Trip is good, could be better. =p

If I can, I want to go back to Siam@Paragon and continue snacking there! Think I am not a weekend baazar/night mkt person. I am spoilt la. So shopping malls for me! heh~

And ya, results. Did better than what I expected. I am feeling relieved more than anything. I hope I can perform better and let me clear everything within 3 yrs...

Hello to Land of Thousand Smiles in 6 hours time?

2009-08-29T15:20:00.000+08:00

Haha... Of to Bkk in a few hours. May this trip be fun, safe and hopethat I will love Bkk too! =p

Handsome Suit. Wii. Fun. Loves. =)

2009-08-23T01:46:00.002+08:00

Definitely the people whom I want to grow old with. Cheers to our friendship! =D

PPF. Limitations.

2009-08-16T22:36:00.000+08:00

I felt like I am being bounded by so many restrictions.

I think I have an idea what I want to do in the future. Yet I cant go ahead to start what I want to do.

I think I have a slight idea what I want to pursue. Yet I do not have the courage and money to do so.

I think I need to move on and do something that will be beneficial to my future. Yet I am still stuck as a half civil servant.

I think I am too timid. Care too much over how people look at me. Worry too much over the 'what ifs'. I am my own limit. Yet I cant overcome it. One Word.

Useless.

Haiz...

2009-08-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

Ultimate dreadz...

Sians...

On the other hand, I can't wait for 29th Aug. Though I dont know what to expect. Bah.

Outta here, bye.

2009-07-22T19:10:00.002+08:00

I'm in class right now... and my lecturer is still talking nonsense... god knows how much longer is he going to take before he start e lesson proper... so much for telling us we do not have enough time for e whole syllabus. zzz...

today's a really bad day... e urge to give up and move on is so strong... yet i can't do anything about it. it sucks having to rant about e same things over and over again... but please pardon me as this is really e only outlet i have... :(

guess i really should start listening in class... thank goodness i do not need to entertain any idiotic people for e next 2 days.... sigh... aaback to my lesson... bye ...

Watch this...

2009-07-12T13:27:00.003+08:00

After coming close to 2 years....

2009-07-10T16:06:00.001+08:00

I am finally gg for a holidays soon! Yipee!!! I love impromptu happenings (good ones only pls)! Yipeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Home alone ep 2...

2009-06-29T09:51:00.002+08:00

Jan's back home.... So i spent the night alone ytd.... Heh~ Think the webcam-ing at night help to ease e uneasyness a lil... Not so bad... Think I am really falling sick le... Sian ah....

Now I am wishing that I need not go back to work.... And if I go back to work, pls let me settle ah chang's case asap.... this case really headache. Haiz....

In conclusion, I dont want to work..

Family Photo... =p

2009-06-29T00:24:00.000+08:00

Latest family photo.. =P

We make it!

2009-06-27T19:16:00.002+08:00

Yay! =) Crust is a lil tad sweet though.. Now I want to bake a proper cake the next time.. Time to buy the necessary items and equiments! =D

Home alone...

2009-06-26T11:25:00.001+08:00

I think for now still can survive the thought of being home alone... Not till next week comes.... I will definitely hate it.. If only I can go Taipei too......

Not good.

2009-06-17T19:47:00.001+08:00

To be truthful, I don't feel good about it. Yet, no one owes me a living. Why should I feel so affected? No one is answerable to me in whatever they do or decide. Why am I still so affected? Nah, I think I am fine. I know what went wrong, what is the problem. But you still can't stop me from feeling this way. Sigh, if only I can be more...... nvm... As if things will change if i list everything out clearly. This is so f*ckening frustrating. Don't correct my english, my english have never been good. It have just reached the cui-ed stage. zzz~

Ok, nuff said. I just want everything to sail through smoothly. And yes, I can do it. I must do it. I do not have a choice...

I am so dreading that 1 week of home alone..... =S

Shit

2009-06-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

I am still v v v v v v v v v v stressed up la... ARGH!

好想出国，透透气。。。

2009-06-03T22:16:00.002+08:00

好累哦。。。也好烦哦。。。每一次上博客就发牢骚，喊累。。。烦不烦啊。。。 ‘烦。。。。’

好想。。。真的好想出国走一走。。。觉得好闷，快喘不过气来了。。。算了。。。大家，晚安。。。 zzzz~

Dread.

2009-05-31T21:58:00.001+08:00

I am dreading work, so so so much again. Give me exams again anytime. I rather go thru the stress of mugging than facing all those shit back there.

=)

2009-05-27T22:59:00.003+08:00

I miss those time back in tpy polyclinic. Monkey-ing around, nua-ing at my favourite corner. Volunteering to take orders for lunch, running away from dispensing slots, retail theraphy-ing @ retail, cashiering at retail, getting freebies from retails, treats from suppliers, complaining and bitching while at centre picking etc etc.... Those days were so much simpler..... =)

无名氏

2009-05-26T19:49:00.001+08:00

好累... 好累...

Pictorials for ytd's meetup

2009-05-24T19:38:00.004+08:00

Wooo.. I am having those monday blues again.... sickening la...

Anyway, met up with some of my favourite people ytd.. We shall go to Settlers again soon ya? =p So some pics to share! Gonna be image heavy... =p

Death...

2009-05-17T14:56:00.003+08:00

My mind went wild thinking about lotsa stuff before I drift off to lalaland yester-night.

I came to conclude, I am afraid of death. As compared to my own death, I am even afraid of facing death of my loved ones. So, I am really scared of death. I cannot stand the thought of growing up and aging. I know the only constant that exist is changes. We all change, and death brought a stop to this change (to our own life that is.). So I really dont want to see people around me leaving, and not coming back anymore. I cant stand that thought as I age (ok, grow up... =p) Ok, I shall stop these morbidity. zzz

Exams. Ha! I think I am more or less confirm that I will need 4 years to graduate instead of 3 years. Looks like I will not be able to take convocation pics with my fellow uni-mates. That's kinda sad actually. The thought itself is like damn lonely already. I wouldnt say I am really ok at how I fared for the papers. I know I can do much better. However I really dont know what is pulling me back to do my best. Though I can say, I have already done what I can do. I cant help to keep feeling lethargic, restless. In addition, my mind is always in this constant state of saturation. So that sucks. Ok, I shall stop this nonsensical rambling too...

Alright, tmr's back to work. I am super duper dreading it. I really really really do not like what I am doing. But I really really really do not like the adapting phase when we change job. So tell me what can I do? And will I be able to get the same amount of remuneration is another thing. Sigh... If only my main worry isn't money.

To quote something my sis shared with me ytd, which she quoted from her Law lecturer. When money can solve the problem, it's not a problem. It's only a problem when it can't be solved by money. I find it very true. So I can only say, my main concern is money. Without money I cant do what I like. So in order to lessen that burden, I need to work. So it's not a problem. ok, I shall stop these 'i-think-its-philosophical' shit.

Shall stop blogging now. This seems like the longest post after a long long long long time. =p alrites, ciaoz!

Finally, over.

2009-05-16T17:14:00.001+08:00

Exams are finally over. But I am dreading work on monday. Hate the feeling of waking up early in the morning, and then head out to do smth I dun like. This sucks, so much. Not much of the place & people, but 101% of the nature of work.

Let me have another round of 3 weeks pls. sigh....

S.P.D

2009-05-10T15:44:00.001+08:00

LOVES!! =p

Dead

2009-05-08T23:36:00.001+08:00

The feeling seems so familiar. I have it often back in poly. And I hate it so much. If only I do not have any monetary constraint, then I can have a larger PPF with more opportunistic cost. Sian.

122nd.

2009-04-19T16:51:00.002+08:00

Can I don't go back to this place tomorrow? Sigh...

Monday Blues attack, again....

I know you're gg to read this...

2009-04-19T15:03:00.002+08:00

What's with the big tyrant behaviour back at home, and the 'I'm ok with anything' behaviour when you're outside? Grow up! You're not gg to get your way just by throwing your temper around. Not only you're acting like a spoilt brat, you only display how bad disciplined you are. In any case, maybe no one will believe what I say, simply cuz how you're behaving back at home differ too much. What can I say?

And I shall repeat this again, by throwing your temper. Trashing it out by kicking all the things in your way, shouting and screaming + crying will NOT let you get your way. Not only you damages all the things that get in your way at home, you will only let others believe that by not letting you have your way is RIGHT. GROW UP.

19 days to go...

2009-04-18T16:16:00.001+08:00

Anyone gg to repeat yr 1 with me? Sigh.... It felt like nothing goes into my head after I moved on to the next topic.... Like whatever I studied prior to what I am studying now is NOTHING. Shucks. Am I getting THAT old? Argh....

Unsuitable.

2009-04-12T14:23:00.001+08:00

I am beginning to believe, I am not cut out to be;

- an achiever
- a high flyer

........................

Whats with people?

2009-04-08T21:55:00.002+08:00

Whats with people getting so heated up over small little comments that meant nothing and chose to ignore the important things instead?

If I can be totally financially independent, and I can be totally heartless.. I really will leave this damn place. Damn...

I realise...

2009-04-06T23:08:00.002+08:00

I am so different when I am outside, be it at work or with friends as compared to when I am alone at home...

This is bad....... I can only coop and hide inside this shell of mine....

I am so damn f*cking tired!

2009-04-06T21:07:00.002+08:00

My back aches big time! Damn.... I am so damn tired and I wish I can go on a verbal diarrhoea right now. ..

When the hell will I stop feeling tired. I need the time to study after work. But I am so so so tired to do anything. Argh!

And yes, my back still aches big time! F!

I need 48 hours a day!

2009-04-05T21:43:00.001+08:00

I need 48 hours a day. And I hope I can survive with 3 hours of slp everyday... BAH! I have not been feeling energized enough for the whole day for a long long time alr! I need the zest and energy back!

I miss all those impromptu shopping trips w/o having to worry about anything and feeling guilty. I miss gg for karaoke session whenever my friends ask me for one. Fish! I need my life back! We live this life once and why am I torturing myself with studies! BAH!!!!

@ Work...

2009-03-27T11:04:00.002+08:00

Sigh.. Feeling damn restless la... Why on earth I can never feel energetic? I think I have a rather good slp yesternight.. maybe not long enough? zzz~ -roar- I WANT TO SLP!

BYE~! This is just another random post...

Peektures....

2009-03-21T19:49:00.000+08:00

Updates

2009-03-21T19:43:00.002+08:00

I do wonder does anyone still read my blog, but tt's not really impt anyway....

Went to the IT fair with my ladies and we have lotsa laughter, again. Heh~ Am really glad my sis hit off well with them... Sigh... I wonder when will our next complete slumber be... But I guess it will never come, since too many factors to think of....

Celebrated qad's bdae last week. Once again, Happy belated bdae to you qad. May you see light in life and wont feel that 人生永远得那么痛苦！ hehe~ Hope you'll be happy always and may our dream come true, 7 yrs later. =)

Work have been rather routine. I am getting really sick of what I am doing and I am already having difficulty to see myself doing what I am doing right now in near future like, next yr? Times are bad. Can only take a step at a time. Like qad, I also hope tt 1 fine day I can lay my hands on 1 million buckeros then most of my problem will be solved....

Studies. BAD. I cant seems to study and I am like 1 month away from exams? Sigh. And ya, to put it in simpler words. I have not commence any proper revision yet. And I think I am gg to repeat tt history like how I fared for my Yr 1 Sem 1 exams in poly. How I wish I can earn a decent salary w/o having to study. This sucks.

I shall stop all my rantings.... I will post some pictures after this post. Till then, take care everyone!

Macdonalds

2009-02-28T15:13:00.001+08:00

I kinda like studying at MacDonalds. It's kinda motivating and spur u on when u see many stranger comrades striving together with u. We shall all fight to win this battle! =)

其实。。。

2009-02-25T21:00:00.002+08:00

其实我也在硬撑着。。。看得出来吗？

好想快乐的过每一天，看似简单却一点也不容易。。。

生活中有那么多的未知数，要如何去掌控自己的生活中的点点滴滴还真的是一门学问。。。

也不想去理会别人对我的看法，不过我生来就特别在意外来对我的意见。要叫我如何不去理会？

老天爷啊，请赐我一枚人生指南针。。。让我能看清楚我人生方向。。。好吗？

I miss my life... back in poly....

2009-02-16T23:07:00.002+08:00

I miss every single one of these people....

To lock or not to lock?

2009-02-04T20:26:00.003+08:00

Am contemplating to lock up my blog. Nothing escape the eyes of Sg govt seriously. I've got nothing to hide nor do I felt that I've got anything interesting for others to probe. I am only hoping when I need a place to rant, this will be my 'ideal' place without me feeling 'unsafe'.

People, do leave me a message in msn or tagboard with your email (gmail pls....) so I can invite u to my blog. =)

Thanks!

Some Pictorial Recap...

2009-02-01T21:08:00.005+08:00

Have not done any proper updates for the 1.5 months or so.... Shall do a pictorial posting. =D

Christmas Dinner @ 85 with my ladies!Finally got to meet these wonderful ladies! Cheerios to our >10yrs of friendship! A pity Mummy Annie is not in the pics though.... There'll always be another chance! ^_^

Lao Pa's 54th Birthday!

Dearest Lao Pa! Happy 54th birthday! I know you won't be reading my blog though. But I love u and mummy deep deep la. =p Nothing much but I just hope you'll be healthy and have a long long long and worry-free life!!! =)

Late Night Movie - Twilight

Dinner at this pasta joint by Sakae Sushi. Not bad. I kinda like the maggie-like pasta I had. Maybe we can hit the joint again soon. And that's Christmas, the carebear Jan brought along. So after the dinner + ice-cream at FEP, we headed for a late night movie! Heh... And something worth mentioning is, all of us watched Twilight before already. So it's like Ben, Jan and my 2nd time while the 3rd for Von! =p

Movie @ Lido again - Twilight againn...

Culprit for this silly decision is no doubt, BEN! But I enjoyed it la... Though I missed all my favourite scenes due to those vomitting episode... =( Nvm... Maybe we shall org a chalet this year and watched Twilight DVD together? Ladies ok? And err... Ben ok? Heh heh~ =p

* I am feeling so emo... Not Monday bluess... But work bluess..... =(

** Something is wrong. Very wrong. I shall slowly work my way out.

ASc CNY Gathering 2009

2009-02-01T10:30:00.004+08:00

Had ASc CNY gathering yesterday and it's quite fun and nice to see these people again. It's a regret that we didn't manage to take photos at Roy's place and a group pic at Hazel's place. Nvm.. We shall do it next yr.

I shall let the photos do the talking. And yes, I shall see these people next year again. =)

R.I.P, Shin.

2009-01-28T22:46:00.002+08:00

I've been following this blog, Shin's Cancer Blog.

I have to say she's really someone I admire for her courage. I do not know her, I just happened to bloghop to her blog and cant help but to feel so amazed by her strength to live. And not forgetting, Shin actually donated her body to Sg Medical Assoc for research purpose. 敬佩，敬佩！

Go on and read her blog... It will definitely set you thinking about life.

R.I.P, Shin. I am sure all angels will take care of you up in heaven. I also hope that medical technology will be even more advanced, to help all cancer patients.

Spree Spree Spree Away!

2009-01-27T01:10:00.002+08:00

I have been spreeing a looooooooooooooot these days.... I'll be expecting my loots after cny.... And there'll be stuff from like.... 4 sprees? Woohoooo! I am so looking forward to lay my hands on my Majolica stuff! Cant believe how much Watson's is ripping for Majolica stuff! Ok la.. Not very expensive but still expensive than Taiwan and/or online la! -shakes head-

I am so gg to start a Torrid spree for my own..... Heh... Not many + size friends w/in my circle.. So this spree shall be for myself only. ^_^

And I am so gg to make my virgin order with VS! Pls make it a fuss free one!!!

This is a sooooooooo random post...zzz

K la.... Time for some serious updates....

Work:
Actually me and QAD know where the problem lies at for making us to feel so dreadry over work.... It's not that we only have 2 of us....It's not that we have a very bad sup.... She's pretty ok as compared to my previous sup @ e pharmacy.... But I guess it's just not our cup of tea... But yet, it seems really ok ... So now, I am practically passing day by day.... I guess I am not sick of this job. I am just sick of working... Never ever try to be a hero/heroine by saying you want to try and juggle school and work together.. It's tough. And when I say tough, it means VERY TOUGH. zzz~

School:
Disastrous. If I am clear all my subjs, I should really count my blessings.... Actually I kinda know how I will fare for my exams la... Shall make some backup plan....

Shall stop here..... Anyway~ HAPPY CNY TO ALL! ^_^

Post No: 102

2009-01-24T21:50:00.002+08:00

Feeling: Really very tired and sticky~
Listening to: Nigakii Risa - Johnny He No Dengo

I guess the sping cleaning is coming to an end, like finally... Maybe with the final vaccuming and mopping of floor that's to be done tmr.... My room finally look a lil bit like a room. zzz

And ya, prelims date and exams dates are out. Time to get started.... So now I am seriously hoping that I will get started during my 1 week 'break'...

That's all for my very short update. Bye~

P/S: Jan, I sent your new friend picture to your email already. =D

Sian......

2009-01-11T11:24:00.000+08:00

Exam dates is out alr....

This is bad.... Extremely bad.....

The 100th Post...

2009-01-05T21:32:00.001+08:00

I very much want to do what I feel like doing...

I very much want to do something out of impulse (exclude impulse shopping)...

I very much want to follow my heart...

Can anyone out there allow me to do so without feeling guilty?

Happy 2009!

2009-01-01T19:26:00.003+08:00

My current blog is officially 1 yr old... If I were to say how long I have been blogging... That will be around..... 6 yrs? Sigh... Old le la....

Let see, what did I achieved in 2008.... Maybe I can say...

1) Managed to curb myself from gg overseas with my really limited moola....(Or maybe it's restricted from travelling la...)

2) I finally left NHG. No regrets in leaving, but aint sure about me joining another statutory board. Maybe I am still in search of finding that suitable job for myself...

3) Finally started studying, which I also do not know if it's a right choice.. Suddenly I just felt that I should have just get that loan and get a degree in a yr or 1.5 yr... It's only a piece of paper anyway....

So now.... My 2009 resolution.... Even though I should say there isnt any point in setting any....

1) To know what I want

2) To pass all my papers. (I dont dare to dream of passing with flying colours lor....)

3) Pls let me enjoy the full course of my work.

4) Family be healthy and happy...

5) No problems with all relationships, be it friendships, kinship, colleagues etc....

6) Pls let me curb my spending habit. It's horrendous. I have not been able to save any money these 2 months... S

Alright... I shall stop here... Have to be realistic la.....

Alrites, HAPPY NEW YR PPLE!

And thanks a million who wished me happy birthday last yr! ^_^

Irony

2008-12-27T23:54:00.001+08:00

It's funny how I am never able to seek solace at home.

I understand it now.....

2008-12-25T22:16:00.004+08:00

Well, I am always the one that does not even consider the family a single bit all the time.

Yes, I am the selfish one. As always.

I am always the one, with the worst attitude ever.

Yes, I am always the one, with the worst character any daughter could have. Or simply, I am the worst daughter anyone can have.

Yes, I do not deny. There's no one in this universe can win me hands down being the most selfish, ugly, inconsiderate, ungrateful and useless individual anyone can be.

Thanks for reminding me all these once again. I will bear these in mind.

And also thank you for letting me know I am now a super individual who think so highly of myself cuz i earn some puny monies.

And yes, I will try my best. To have that 志气you're harping about on moving out. And once again, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for letting me know who I am really.

I seriously can't thank you enough.

And no, this is not sacarsm.

So,

Thank you.

Sian ah....

2008-12-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

Sigh, I dont have a single idea if I am liking what I am doing right now.... I just want to get pass this passing phase and break free from all these unseen restrictions....... Guess it's gg to be at least a tough 6 months ahead...... 一定要忍。。。。

Baaaaad...

2008-12-03T23:18:00.000+08:00

Bad start..... Bad Day... Bad ending.... Sickening...

I missed being in the comfort zone... I missed being one of the more experienced staff.... BUT, I dont want to go back to the pharmacy...

Passing phase.... passing phase.... Shall not let myself rot in this 'comfort zone' whirlpool anymore.. Time to get back on my feet and get on moving... Ganbatte!

Care no more..

2008-11-30T11:36:00.003+08:00

Shall just let it down.. and not let it affect me any longer. It may all just my one sided thoughts...

Things aside.... Kymmie & Joe got married in MS ytd! ^_^

And ya, things have been gg on well for work.... Am gg solo soon... So I can expect things to go downhill pretty soon. =( Wish me luck! byebye~

Changes...

2008-11-25T22:44:00.003+08:00

I cant help but to feel there're too many changes for me to cope recently. Maybe in totality, all were nothing but my own doings. Why should I care so much when it doesnt even concern me at all? It's their lives not mine. 犯溅。。。

I am starting to tolerate nonsense (IMO) no more. Call me an old woman with stupind thinking, but why am I transforming into a petty individual which I find it a monsterous self? Changes.....

But yet those changes I see which I cant tolerate is wrong by integrity, character. So are all those feelings I have now redundant?

I am getting so frustrated by all those small lilttle things that I ususally choose to be blind to.... Maybe, and I hope.... all these are just the bad doings of the female homo sapiens' hormones...

I guess I am falling sick...... in mind.....

Brand New Start..

2008-11-23T09:45:00.002+08:00

Finally have got the mood to blog.... Well well.... Have been having lotsa mixed feelings..

Work wise. So far so good. Am blessed enough to have Von with me... Guess I will always be stoning at one corner and be like a hermit crab if I am to be alone... But at least for now, everything's quite ok... 'Cept for the tonnes of information to be digested. Gg to school after a whole day training can be really bad....

School, have been habouring the thought of giving up these 2 weeks. And I know I cant.. This is so sickening... Sigh...

I want my honeymoon period back again la...... =( But work is not the main culprit for making me not want to work. It's school... Sigh....

Last Day of Freedom...

2008-11-16T22:28:00.001+08:00

Alrite.. Damn emo now la...

My last day of 'leave' without the need of AL is coming to an end! Damn emo can!

Having a serious wardrobe crisis now. =( Anyway want to send me a US based credit card? ^_^

Sigh... Can I dont go work tmr? =p

下雨天

2008-11-16T21:33:00.002+08:00

下雨天

作詞：梁心頤作曲：張傑

下雨天了怎麼辦我好想你
我不敢打給你我找不到原因
為什麼失眠的聲音變得好熟悉
沈默的場景做你的代替
陪我等雨停

期待讓人越來越沉溺
誰和我一樣等不到他的誰
愛上你我總在學會寂寞的滋味
一個人撐傘一個人擦淚
一個人好累

怎樣的雨怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實沒有我你分不出那些
差別結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過
別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

期待讓人越來越疲憊
誰和我一樣等不到他的誰
愛上你我總在學會寂寞的滋味
一個人撐傘一個人擦淚
一個人好累

怎樣的雨怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實沒有我你分不出那些
差別結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

怎樣的雨怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實沒有我你分不出那些
差別結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

沙滩。。。

2008-11-05T19:38:00.000+08:00

Feeling very.... blue........

Don't like the feeling of being helpless. =(

My break at last..

2008-11-02T11:20:00.003+08:00

I am finally on a continuous break for at least 5 days.. To be exact, I have got 16 days of break before embarking on my new job. ^_^ So for now.... 15 more days of break left... Time.. please crawl.. for once... =P

I am hoping that I can get down to study during this short/long break.But seems like MS is e main distraction! Sigh... And lets see what I want to do....

- Ding Tai Fung please!! Craving for it for like dunno how long alr!
- Kbox! Shall wait till I fully recover...
- Shopping! Wardrobe crisis for my new job... And this wil be e most difficult task to complete..
- Kuishinbo! Cravings.. Cravings...
- Make my specs! I hate to squint my eyes during lectures!
- Clean up my room - I had started ytd by cleaning up my study table! ^_^
- Level 90 in MS! POssible? No? I dunno la... =p

Alrite... Think I might want to login MS awhile... BYEBYE!

i love chocs. =)

2008-10-28T13:06:00.002+08:00

hehe... am savouring on the merci chocs dr ng bought of the clinic staff since he is leaving soon. gosh. the last time i had merci chocs shld be on jai's 21st bdae celeb la.. which is like on the 4th nov 2006 (5th nov 2006 mn). i misses those times....badly... =)

time crawls at work.... having mixed feelings towards everything now. but am sure it's not the wrong choice. =)

met up with my poly sisters (and ya, ben you're counted as 1 of the sisters =p) recently. enjoyed the meetup and think we shld have more of such meetups maybe with ai qin too. =)

i am so looking forward to my 2 weeks break. and no, i am not gg to travel to some corner of the world. i am so hoping that i can get my butt and mind off to some serious mugging. wish me luck... just hope maplestory server will be down... down... down.... =p

alrites. back to my lunch break. till then, bye.

S.P.E.E.D!

2008-10-19T00:49:00.003+08:00

Ok.. This is a news I got to know like last month... But keep forgetting to blog it out...

My all time fave is BACK!!!

Woohoo~~~ I am so gg to buy their new single.... Please support Ashita no Sora! Arigatou Gozaimasu!! ^_^

Time of a proper update..

2008-10-18T13:14:00.002+08:00

Orite... Time for a proper update...

Basically I no longer qualify for LSA which i always 'wanted' @ NHG...

Health status a question mark still.. Though am pretty sure I am orite... =)

Things at home... Ok la.. Dont know what to say... Those nitty gritty details are too much for me to repeat them again and again... Learnt to get over it and just hope everything will be alrite... whatever that may happen, will happen. No matter what I do to stop it from coming...

1 very impt point to note. Always try to live for yourself even though we know we're constantly living for others. =)

idunnohowtogoon...

2008-10-15T08:47:00.000+08:00

Too many things happened recently that really make my mind into one big whirlpool... aint feeling good about all the single little things... all i can do is to pray for all to be well.. and may everything be smooth sailing for me... this is getting too tiring....

sick and tired of everything..

2008-10-10T00:24:00.001+08:00

frustration to the max... sick and tired man.... fuck la..

moving on.... moving on.....

2008-09-29T17:47:00.001+08:00

Finally have gotten the chance to move on... But yet I am having so much mixed feelings... Will update again on this matter after everything is confirmed. Till then... Byebye~

CMI... Really CMI...

2008-09-29T07:47:00.001+08:00

Totally exploited....

it gets too...

2008-09-24T08:01:00.001+08:00

it gets too monotonous and boring after we're in something for too long right? this is a very pointless & random post. am at counter 1 now and i am so dreading the work for the day to start... save me ah.....

好累。。。

2008-09-10T22:57:00.001+08:00

觉得自己好像快要崩溃了。。。

顿时间，我感觉不到我的存在意义了。。。

2008-08-30T21:35:00.003+08:00

有时真地会觉得，不知道自己的存在是为了什么。就觉得自己好像一个空壳。盲目的追求物质上的好。连我为什么要继续课业的理由都不懂了。不知道是不是自己想太多，就总觉得自己在做的一切很不世纪。感觉就好像我很盲目的在追求我在做的一切。算了。。。顺其自然吧。。。

JCIA...

2008-08-27T21:32:00.002+08:00

JCI audit is over for my place... Well, I find it rather... nvm....

We spent countless afternoons gg thru those mock audits.... Made lotsa effort to clean up this and that.... We cant eat in the pharmacy for so long... Just for tt < 10mins walk ard by the angmo.... -shake head-

Not forgetting the stress factor that could push your BP to 200/180. F!

To add on to those problems.... Studies have been getting really tedious, mentally... The fatigue is really starting to take its toll on me. I am totally dreading work. And I cant concentrate in class after 30 mins... Haiz... Alrite, I cant complain much for this, I brought it upon myself....

Maths test tmr... I am still procrastinating.. Have got no energy to study! < 6 hours of sleep everyday, and < 5 hours of sleep on school days is really very torturing.... I really wish to find a decent 5 days job soon.... If only I can just dont work for this 3 years (Dream on!)

Wish me luck, I am gg to try mug later on @ 10pm... ZZZ~

I'm a studious kid...

2008-08-23T22:14:00.002+08:00

I love studying at TP lib.... Maybe I will love studying in SIM lib too.. But SIM is simply too faaaaaar.... And ya... I am a studious kid. =D

MC-ed

2008-08-22T12:13:00.002+08:00

MC-ed. Need the time to study for my Maths test. Even though I foresee myself to flunk big time. Wish me good luck.

I want this phone!!!

2008-08-17T16:43:00.001+08:00

Nostalagia....

2008-08-17T11:34:00.002+08:00

I went back to TP for a studying session, it felt great to be back in TP (even if it's for awhile...) And of course, the studying session is 75% fruitful.. Except for the occasional chit chatting... lame jokes and bouts of tension headache attacks, I really did study ok! =D

Well, used up 1.5 days of my AL this week and I am left with 2 days only.. Seriously I dont know how to survive.. As much as I want to leave my current workplace, I guess I will be staying throughout this year. Forget it....

I was pondering on some changes I noticed recently. Mainly on people... It's sad when u realise u cant relate as much to someone who usd to be so dear anymore right? You noticed the change is so big that sometimes you can't recognise the person infront of you used to be your confidante. And when I mean the big change, its something for the worst imo. And what make it worse, I dont know how to tell the person neither do the person know he/she had changed that much. Well, maybe nothing ever changes... Just that I am being too paranoid, sensitive. Or maybe just that the person is still the same, just that I have never notice those traits all these years I know him/her. Sad la...

I hope I can get on track for my revision later on. As much as I hate maths, I do start to feel that it may get a lil exciting when I attempt those alien questions. Wish me luck for maths, and stats. =)

I set my foot into...

2008-08-11T22:10:00.004+08:00

I set my foot into Sentosa today....

And ended up a roasted pig... ZZZ...

This aside.. Let me introduce you to my very 'hip' parents... That's my mum playing my Nintendo DS Lite and My father playing my sis PSP Slim... Damn 'hip' la!

Aiyo....

2008-08-10T16:51:00.003+08:00

I am so tempted can.....

I read through the student handbook that I received along with my study guides ytd.... (This yr UOL seems to be more efficient... as what pple in e forum say la...)

And I saw this section on Summer School...

Tempting tempting!!

Course fees for 1 session (20days) - 1125pounds -> bound to be increase for next yr...

Accomodation for 1 session... - differ for different residences and room type... If lets say I am gg to share a rm with another person, it will come up to about 700pounds per person...

The air tix.... Will come up to about 2k...

Expenses... I dont know about the expenses there... But lets say I put 2000 for approx 3 weeks (frankly speaking... I think its defintely not enough...)

Then it will come up to approx 10k can!

Any kind soul want to donate some money to me? I want to go for summer school la!!!

I hate this...

2008-08-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

I dont understand how can one be so irresponsible...

Y make others feel stressful and worried on their behalf when its their own life?

My silence does not means I don't care. But I am freaking tired to show my displease already. I really dont understand why a grown up like you can be more mature? Instead always getting stuck in your own world thinking that you;re the only one whose really sick and tired of everything.. You're the one suffering the most. C'mon! Spare a thought on how the people around u feel too!

I dont know why.. But you no longer command that kinda respect I used to have already...

Shucks...I want to get out of this phase asap.

i neeed a breaaaak~

2008-08-01T22:09:00.002+08:00

As I was flipping the papers today (MyPapers).... Japan is said to be one of the tourist destination this year due to the weak Yen! Can I go???????????? SIgh... I seriously need a break la...

School's seriously draining me... I may be able to give my 101% of attention in class, but the moment I reached home.. I am like concuss-ed~ And the work for the following day will be disastrous.... I seriously hope this is an adapting phase only....

I am gg for a K session tmr!!! Like finally la.... But I am like having some sore throat? Heck la.... I want to spend money!!!! I want to go travelling!!!

Taiwan!!! I am so missing u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pictures updates....

2008-07-30T21:02:00.008+08:00

WARNING: A HEAVY PICTORIAL POST!

A Meetup with Poly Pals... Finally!

Sze Hui's Farewell

Fellie's Bdae Celeb~

Remember?

2008-07-30T21:01:00.001+08:00

Remember about the patient I talked about on my last few posts?

She had passed away a few days ago....

Motivation-less

2008-07-27T22:33:00.002+08:00

Shucks... I seriously need lotsa motivation...

I am lagging badly for my maths class... People with A or C Maths background seriously have got an upperhand with the way the class is being taught... And again, I really cant adapt the way Mr teong's brother teach... ZZZ

Stats is still ok.... However when I tried to do the tutorial earlier on.. haha~ bad la.. Some facts just cant seems to get into my head.... Time for some serious revision... -bless me-

Szehui had left TPY alr.... Hope she will do and cope well in Hougang though... Am glad she crossed my path, and hopefully I will still see her ard in sch... She have been a really good companion in tpy with me... I will definitely miss her though... Cuz she's not just a colleague, but a good friend to me too. =)

Anyway, finally have a meetup with Ben and qin.... Although its quite obvious that we dont have much topics to talk about.. But its still nice to see friends that we seldom see right? Haha~ Seems like we really meet each other once a year.... Hope all things will goes well for qin's studies and her new job... As for ben.... Looks like we didnt talk much... We should meetup tog with glads and qin la... haha~

This is a pointless entry.... So ignore it... What I am trying to convey is.. I am very SIAN....

**Huang Jinglun & Sugie are both eliminated from XGDD3 already! Sadness la... I thought HJL can get into Top 5... Haiz... I dont like tt Obama... =X

Some tests...

2008-07-18T12:46:00.002+08:00

As I 'link-hopped' from Joanna's blog..

I tried out this test....

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Test @ http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2nd test...

You value your friendships: 70%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

Test @ http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test78.aspx

I LOVE FELICIA NG LA!!

2008-07-13T22:00:00.003+08:00

I cant help but to say this again!!

FELICIA NG IS MY IDOL LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

Life sucks...

2008-07-12T20:47:00.001+08:00

Life sucks when calculators cant be used!!!

I simply hate to plot those stupid graphs using fraction.. How on earth can any normal people can plot graphs using fractions! ARGH!

For a qns that's supposedly to be done in 10 mins or so... I am using 1hour... haha~ Ho seh bo...

I am not bring agitated.. Just find it amusing...

I guess I still have a looooong looooooooooooooooooong looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way to go.....

Please let me be motivated to do my stats tut today or tmr~~~

School's Starting....

2008-07-07T20:43:00.002+08:00

It's weird how I am not getting the jittery feeling for school's start for me tmr....

I am feeling more of worried actually... Haha~

Just hope everything will be fine. I hope I will be strong enough to stay on my present job, I still want my LSA... =P

So qad, fellie, kymmie, gla.... Let us strive for good honours k? Haha~ Jia you... =)

It struck me hard...

2008-06-27T20:08:00.003+08:00

Today I saw one of the patient that I really dread serving... It had been some time since she came.... She used to 'patronise' the clinic at least once a week or once every 2 weeks....

She used to trouble the PSAs by having to cancel her bill everytime she forgot to request for the medications she want...

She used to irritate the doctors by making them amending her prescription several times.. Because she just can't seem to remember what she want and tell the doctor at one go...

She used to irritate the hell out of me because she have got lotsa questions and can't seems to remember what I told her... And she will ask the same question over again and again...

I always 'bully' her by asking to go find the doctor herself to add the medications.. (This is SOP-right). I didnt offer to call the doctor to request the medications on her behalf before.... (We are not really allowed to do this... unless there's no other alternatives - nasty patients...)

I never help her to write the indications and instructions willingly on her medications label because she always ask the same old question....

Today she came....

No longer with her umbrella, no longer speaking in that loud and strong voice.... no longer staring at me/other pts with that big eyes....

She sat on her wheelchair that seems pretty new.... Eyes were half closed, can't really hear, can't really pay attention....

Her son seems to be more 'obedient' as he no longer argue with her in the pharmacy... No longer scolding her saying she's so troublesome... Instead, he stayed with her and offer to listen to our drugs dispensing.... And make her listen as well....

I also willingly to dispense with my really broken hokkien for the very first time... Sad isn't it... (I hate to dispense in hokkien, fyi...)

I still remember how she say she need to rush back home to cook dinner.... That's like 6 mths ago?

She look so weak and frail today... I didnt cry nor I tear... But I almost did.... My heart wrench at the sight of her.... She's around 80+ - 90 y/o... Though she can be deem as healthy at her age... But I cant help but to feel really sad when I see the change in her within these 2 years....

Somehow, I was thinking... Will her son be very helpless if ever 1 day Mdm SST left.... It seems like both of them depend on each other a lot....

I really cannot imagine... My own parents becoming like her in the future.... I cant imagine myself becoming like her in the future.....

And it is also today.... I understand the reason why I am still 'lingering' in NHG Pharm.

I hope I can let the other old folks out there to age more 'comfortably'. They may be down with several chronic diseases... They maybe feeling weak and helpless... But somehow when we, the service staff in healthcare shows that we do care and willing to help them... They will feel happier....

They may complain, they may scream at us saying how slow are we.... But they're still the patients...

Of course, there're black sheeps out there that criticise us when we do our job.... But there're also people who appreciate what we do (though they're the minority...)....

This incident did not rekindle the so called 'passion' and 'compassion' in me to stay on in healthcare frontline....

It made me realise, I will still hope I am able help whenever I can.... I will also take pride in what I do even if I detest doing it....

And this afternoon, I did my best in clearing patients... Giving them the clearest instructions I can give... Only to hope all their diseases can be lifted and be free from these illnesses....

So, please give me the strength to face it. Human will age and die... Please do give me the patience, to serve all patients with pride and empathy...

And last but not least, all people to be appreciative to give me that support and encouragement to stay on with the other frontline staff to help whatever we can...

Jia you... =)

I miss life in TP, badly...

2008-06-20T21:20:00.002+08:00

I went to have a campus tour of TP this evening, alone...

I missed school life in TP so badly...

It was so much fun as compared to secondary school days...

And I am pretty sure it will be better than my upcoming p/t school life too...

Why do we have to grow up? Sigh....

My deepest condolences...

2008-06-13T20:24:00.002+08:00

My deepest condolences to the 2 NSF who passed away on Tues and Wed respectively.

Got to know the regular (Pilot Trainee) whom passed away on Wed is the bf of a ASc jr and my friend's friend... Felt pretty sad by the news actually.. Hope she and the family will picked themself up asap...

And also, got to know a TP BMS(PST I think) senior who is in the batch before me passed away due to fever caused by viral infection. (Or purely viral infection?) earlier on this week. Don't know her personally but got to know about her thru Flowerpod earlier last yr. And she's only 24 this year. Sigh... Her last post in FP also says that she's down with a fever caused by viral infection. And who knows for the following day or 2, shes in ICU alr... Life's so unpredictable....

I really can't imagine anyone close/dear to me goe someday... Please please please be well and healthy and don't leave any people you love behind.

And as for me, I think I have become more paranoid. Things like 'What happen if I just die like that' actually set me to deep thinking mode recently...

Life's really fragile and unpredictable.. People, please do show the love you have for the people surrounding you while you can...

If ever 1 day I am gone, please please please help me tell my father & mother, I truly love the both of them....

I want to travel too!

2008-06-09T20:22:00.003+08:00

Alrite.. Sis is gg to HKG next mth...

Sze Hui is planning for a Japan trip next yr....

When will my next overseas trip come?!?!?!??!!

Seriously, I think chance of my gg overseas next yr June is like.. 50% 50% only... SIGH!

Gek Sim Ah...

2008-06-08T20:08:00.003+08:00

Just when I am looking thru HWZ earlier on, then I came across this article posted online...

UniSIM launches first local university part-time accountancy degree in collaboration with five public accounting firms

(http://www.unisim.edu.sg/uni/pub/gen/uni_pub_gen_content.cfm?mnuid=61&id=3496)

HO SEH BO!

Let me recap the reason why I did not choose UniSIM over SIM-UOL earlier on.

No Direct Honours/Honours
Course fee as expensive as compared to SIM Global Education
No accountancy. There's finance, but not really what I want to try.

Now? They're starting a degree program - Bacherlor of Accountancy (Hons). With 40% subsidy and industrial internship. GEK SIM AH!

And what, UniSIM accountancy will be studying FRS (Financial Reporting Standard) under SIngapore Standard. SIM-UOL will be studying FRS under UK standard....

AND WHAT'S MORE! UniSIM's Accountancy is awaiting accreditation from ACCA & ICPAS (Singapore Official Body for CPA - Certified Public Accountant). SIM-UOL A&F grads will need to go through with ACCA level 3 examinations or ICPAS professional examinations again before we can be a CPA in 3 years time. And in order to take ACCA level 3 exams and/or ICPAS professional exams, I must take certain modules in SIM-UOL. Sian not?!

And I think there's a high chance for UniSIM's application for accreditation to be approved since the 5 firms cooperating with them is pretty prestigious, considering that 1 of the Big 4 auditing firm - KPMG is one of the partners.

Haiz... Suan le....Let me be gek sim a bit more.... Then I need to get ready for school already.

SIAN AH~!

原来我什么都不想要。。。

2008-06-06T20:21:00.002+08:00

没了。。。放手了。。。心情也轻松起来了。。。想回去，自己也很不踏实。。。既然都是过去事了，就让我们往前看吧。。。 =）

School will officially starts on the 8th July for me. Not looking forward. So many people out there is telling me how tough it will be. How I will not cope with a full time job and school. How I will definitely suffer. Thank people, I understand all of you is trying to prepare me for what is coming, actually I don't need so much of all these constant reminders for now. All I need is you all to be there (maybe for a K session? =P ) if ever 1 day I really can't take the stress anymore.

And for the people who have been telling me I am not a material for studying, and I am not supposed to be so infilial to continue studying. I should be working and provide for my parents. Thank you too. You/Both of you have been a great help. You've let me realise how infilial, irresponsible and selfish I am. However I have got my own plannings. And coming from a not-so-well-to-do family should not deprive me the chance to study right? Why should a degree programe be catered to the rich ones only? Furthermore, I am providing for my own degree. I am still contributing to my household expenditures. I am still trying to fulfil the filial piety duties as much as I can. So can you (2) please leave some space for me? I am trying, really. I know I am really selfish to only think of myself. But all I want is a passport for me to search a better paying job to provide for my folks and myself. I hope I am not wrong holding on to this thought. So for the time being, please get off my back. And let me live my life as my own. I don't need your judgement for now, and maybe even in the future. I hereby sincerely thank you in advance.

Haiz~

2008-06-02T22:40:00.003+08:00

I drank 3 cups of green tea already... And I am still feeling sleepy... And no, no coffee for me... =)

And, I am so tempted to start my stationary shopping!!

And QAD, I hope all goes on well for you. And I really hope 1 day nothing could stop us and just let us leave the shithole we're in now. =)

*Joanna, today your aunt actually asked me if I know u.. haha~ Anyway if she say my attitude not very good... Tell her to pardon me ah... Met a few of nasty patients just before her.. LoL~ And in any case, how did she recognise me? Don't tell me you told her 'very easy to recognise one... the big big round round jiu shi le....' =X hahaha~

It's a steal!

2008-06-01T20:38:00.001+08:00

I finally got both a scanner & printer that can work!!! Hehe.. its those kinda all-in-one kinda printer/scanner la.... And I got it @ $88!!! What a steal! But I am $88 poorer now.. Can't wait for my next paycheck on the 28th JUNE la.... Sigh...

When life took a sharp turn...

2008-05-30T21:03:00.002+08:00

Seems like pple around ain't really getting on well and fine... Can only hope/wish/pray that all will turn out to be good at the end of everything...

Work's still e same. Black sheep(s) here and there as usual. I can only say, empty vessels make the most noise. So think, before you speak. People will judge you by the messages you're conveying be it if that's your intention or not. Period.

Course briefing tmr, the fact that I am starting school soon is setting into me already. I am not feeling jittery but dreadry instead. Maybe I shld just kick the thought of wanting to resign in my mind and concentrate on other more important things. (LONG SERVICE AWARD!!! ^____^)

Am gonna stop here. Xing Guang Da Dao in a hour time. =D

I miss Taiwannnn~

2008-05-22T18:54:00.004+08:00

I really miss Taiwan la... Nvm nvm... REN! I shall set my foot into Taiwan hopefully within the next 3 years time. (A lil too long, but I shall endure!)