Death...

My mind went wild thinking about lotsa stuff before I drift off to lalaland yester-night.

I came to conclude, I am afraid of death. As compared to my own death, I am even afraid of facing death of my loved ones. So, I am really scared of death. I cannot stand the thought of growing up and aging. I know the only constant that exist is changes. We all change, and death brought a stop to this change (to our own life that is.). So I really dont want to see people around me leaving, and not coming back anymore. I cant stand that thought as I age (ok, grow up... =p) Ok, I shall stop these morbidity. zzz

Exams. Ha! I think I am more or less confirm that I will need 4 years to graduate instead of 3 years. Looks like I will not be able to take convocation pics with my fellow uni-mates. That's kinda sad actually. The thought itself is like damn lonely already. I wouldnt say I am really ok at how I fared for the papers. I know I can do much better. However I really dont know what is pulling me back to do my best. Though I can say, I have already done what I can do. I cant help to keep feeling lethargic, restless. In addition, my mind is always in this constant state of saturation. So that sucks. Ok, I shall stop this nonsensical rambling too...

Alright, tmr's back to work. I am super duper dreading it. I really really really do not like what I am doing. But I really really really do not like the adapting phase when we change job. So tell me what can I do? And will I be able to get the same amount of remuneration is another thing. Sigh... If only my main worry isn't money.

To quote something my sis shared with me ytd, which she quoted from her Law lecturer. When money can solve the problem, it's not a problem. It's only a problem when it can't be solved by money. I find it very true. So I can only say, my main concern is money. Without money I cant do what I like. So in order to lessen that burden, I need to work. So it's not a problem. ok, I shall stop these 'i-think-its-philosophical' shit.

Shall stop blogging now. This seems like the longest post after a long long long long time. =p alrites, ciaoz!