Jovan. =)

And I cant wait for Jovan to grow up (W/o me aging =p ) ....

Totally Messed Up.

If not for you, things will go on smoothly. You just make me hate you more. Fuck.

Spring Clean...

Decided to delete this whole post. Forget it. Not impt.

Lousy Lousier Lousiest

Have been feeling very lousy these days. Have been trying to suppress negative thoughts for many days. Have been telling myself everything is still good, nothing have changed. Everything is getting better... everyday. It's taking a toll on me, mentally.

And fuck, why do I felt like some selfish faggot now? You will never understand my feeling. Bye.

夹心饼干的感受。。。

我再说的是夹心饼干中的淇淋的感受。。。

我真得很讨厌被夹在中间。。。 人与人之间真的需要一个messenger吗？ 为何我每次都需要做那个中间人。。。 难道我不会累吗？ 我也是人啊。。。 你们只知道自己受了委屈，那身边的人呢？为何要透视他们呢？我真的好累。 有谁了我呀。。。

Why,,,

Bkk Shopping Frenzy~*!

I'm back! Trip is good, could be better. =p

If I can, I want to go back to Siam@Paragon and continue snacking there! Think I am not a weekend baazar/night mkt person. I am spoilt la. So shopping malls for me! heh~

And ya, results. Did better than what I expected. I am feeling relieved more than anything. I hope I can perform better and let me clear everything within 3 yrs...

Hello to Land of Thousand Smiles in 6 hours time?

Haha... Of to Bkk in a few hours. May this trip be fun, safe and hopethat I will love Bkk too! =p

Handsome Suit. Wii. Fun. Loves. =)

Definitely the people whom I want to grow old with. Cheers to our friendship! =D

PPF. Limitations.

I felt like I am being bounded by so many restrictions.

I think I have an idea what I want to do in the future. Yet I cant go ahead to start what I want to do.

I think I have a slight idea what I want to pursue. Yet I do not have the courage and money to do so.

I think I need to move on and do something that will be beneficial to my future. Yet I am still stuck as a half civil servant.

I think I am too timid. Care too much over how people look at me. Worry too much over the 'what ifs'. I am my own limit. Yet I cant overcome it. One Word.

Useless.

Haiz...

Ultimate dreadz...

Sians...

On the other hand, I can't wait for 29th Aug. Though I dont know what to expect. Bah.

Outta here, bye.

I'm in class right now... and my lecturer is still talking nonsense... god knows how much longer is he going to take before he start e lesson proper... so much for telling us we do not have enough time for e whole syllabus. zzz...

today's a really bad day... e urge to give up and move on is so strong... yet i can't do anything about it. it sucks having to rant about e same things over and over again... but please pardon me as this is really e only outlet i have... :(

guess i really should start listening in class... thank goodness i do not need to entertain any idiotic people for e next 2 days.... sigh... aaback to my lesson... bye ...

Watch this...

After coming close to 2 years....

I am finally gg for a holidays soon! Yipee!!! I love impromptu happenings (good ones only pls)! Yipeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Home alone ep 2...

Jan's back home.... So i spent the night alone ytd.... Heh~ Think the webcam-ing at night help to ease e uneasyness a lil... Not so bad... Think I am really falling sick le... Sian ah....

Now I am wishing that I need not go back to work.... And if I go back to work, pls let me settle ah chang's case asap.... this case really headache. Haiz....

In conclusion, I dont want to work..

Family Photo... =p

Latest family photo.. =P

We make it!

Yay! =) Crust is a lil tad sweet though.. Now I want to bake a proper cake the next time.. Time to buy the necessary items and equiments! =D

Home alone...

I think for now still can survive the thought of being home alone... Not till next week comes.... I will definitely hate it.. If only I can go Taipei too......

Not good.

To be truthful, I don't feel good about it. Yet, no one owes me a living. Why should I feel so affected? No one is answerable to me in whatever they do or decide. Why am I still so affected? Nah, I think I am fine. I know what went wrong, what is the problem. But you still can't stop me from feeling this way. Sigh, if only I can be more...... nvm... As if things will change if i list everything out clearly. This is so f*ckening frustrating. Don't correct my english, my english have never been good. It have just reached the cui-ed stage. zzz~

Ok, nuff said. I just want everything to sail through smoothly. And yes, I can do it. I must do it. I do not have a choice...

I am so dreading that 1 week of home alone..... =S

Shit

I am still v v v v v v v v v v stressed up la... ARGH!

好想出国，透透气。。。

好累哦。。。 也好烦哦。。。 每一次上博客就发牢骚，喊累。。。 烦不烦啊。。。 ‘烦。。。。’

好想。。。 真的好想出国走一走。。。 觉得好闷， 快喘不过气来了。。。 算了。。。 大家，晚安。。。 zzzz~

Dread.

I am dreading work, so so so much again. Give me exams again anytime. I rather go thru the stress of mugging than facing all those shit back there.

=)

I miss those time back in tpy polyclinic. Monkey-ing around, nua-ing at my favourite corner. Volunteering to take orders for lunch, running away from dispensing slots, retail theraphy-ing @ retail, cashiering at retail, getting freebies from retails, treats from suppliers, complaining and bitching while at centre picking etc etc.... Those days were so much simpler..... =)

无名氏

好累... 好累...

Pictorials for ytd's meetup

Wooo.. I am having those monday blues again.... sickening la...

Anyway, met up with some of my favourite people ytd.. We shall go to Settlers again soon ya? =p So some pics to share! Gonna be image heavy... =p

Death...

My mind went wild thinking about lotsa stuff before I drift off to lalaland yester-night.

I came to conclude, I am afraid of death. As compared to my own death, I am even afraid of facing death of my loved ones. So, I am really scared of death. I cannot stand the thought of growing up and aging. I know the only constant that exist is changes. We all change, and death brought a stop to this change (to our own life that is.). So I really dont want to see people around me leaving, and not coming back anymore. I cant stand that thought as I age (ok, grow up... =p) Ok, I shall stop these morbidity. zzz

Exams. Ha! I think I am more or less confirm that I will need 4 years to graduate instead of 3 years. Looks like I will not be able to take convocation pics with my fellow uni-mates. That's kinda sad actually. The thought itself is like damn lonely already. I wouldnt say I am really ok at how I fared for the papers. I know I can do much better. However I really dont know what is pulling me back to do my best. Though I can say, I have already done what I can do. I cant help to keep feeling lethargic, restless. In addition, my mind is always in this constant state of saturation. So that sucks. Ok, I shall stop this nonsensical rambling too...

Alright, tmr's back to work. I am super duper dreading it. I really really really do not like what I am doing. But I really really really do not like the adapting phase when we change job. So tell me what can I do? And will I be able to get the same amount of remuneration is another thing. Sigh... If only my main worry isn't money.

To quote something my sis shared with me ytd, which she quoted from her Law lecturer. When money can solve the problem, it's not a problem. It's only a problem when it can't be solved by money. I find it very true. So I can only say, my main concern is money. Without money I cant do what I like. So in order to lessen that burden, I need to work. So it's not a problem. ok, I shall stop these 'i-think-its-philosophical' shit.

Shall stop blogging now. This seems like the longest post after a long long long long time. =p alrites, ciaoz!

Finally, over.

Exams are finally over. But I am dreading work on monday. Hate the feeling of waking up early in the morning, and then head out to do smth I dun like. This sucks, so much. Not much of the place & people, but 101% of the nature of work.

Let me have another round of 3 weeks pls. sigh....

S.P.D

LOVES!! =p

Dead

The feeling seems so familiar. I have it often back in poly. And I hate it so much. If only I do not have any monetary constraint, then I can have a larger PPF with more opportunistic cost. Sian.

122nd.

Can I don't go back to this place tomorrow? Sigh...


Monday Blues attack, again....

I know you're gg to read this...

What's with the big tyrant behaviour back at home, and the 'I'm ok with anything' behaviour when you're outside? Grow up! You're not gg to get your way just by throwing your temper around. Not only you're acting like a spoilt brat, you only display how bad disciplined you are. In any case, maybe no one will believe what I say, simply cuz how you're behaving back at home differ too much. What can I say?

And I shall repeat this again, by throwing your temper. Trashing it out by kicking all the things in your way, shouting and screaming + crying will NOT let you get your way. Not only you damages all the things that get in your way at home, you will only let others believe that by not letting you have your way is RIGHT. GROW UP.

19 days to go...

Anyone gg to repeat yr 1 with me? Sigh.... It felt like nothing goes into my head after I moved on to the next topic.... Like whatever I studied prior to what I am studying now is NOTHING. Shucks. Am I getting THAT old? Argh....

Unsuitable.

I am beginning to believe, I am not cut out to be;

- an achiever
- a high flyer

........................

Whats with people?

Whats with people getting so heated up over small little comments that meant nothing and chose to ignore the important things instead?

If I can be totally financially independent, and I can be totally heartless.. I really will leave this damn place. Damn...

I realise...

I am so different when I am outside, be it at work or with friends as compared to when I am alone at home...

This is bad....... I can only coop and hide inside this shell of mine....

I am so damn f*cking tired!

My back aches big time! Damn.... I am so damn tired and I wish I can go on a verbal diarrhoea right now. ..

When the hell will I stop feeling tired. I need the time to study after work. But I am so so so tired to do anything. Argh!

And yes, my back still aches big time! F!

I need 48 hours a day!

I need 48 hours a day. And I hope I can survive with 3 hours of slp everyday... BAH! I have not been feeling energized enough for the whole day for a long long time alr! I need the zest and energy back!

I miss all those impromptu shopping trips w/o having to worry about anything and feeling guilty. I miss gg for karaoke session whenever my friends ask me for one. Fish! I need my life back! We live this life once and why am I torturing myself with studies! BAH!!!!

@ Work...

Sigh.. Feeling damn restless la... Why on earth I can never feel energetic? I think I have a rather good slp yesternight.. maybe not long enough? zzz~ -roar- I WANT TO SLP!

BYE~! This is just another random post...

Peektures....

Updates

I do wonder does anyone still read my blog, but tt's not really impt anyway....

Went to the IT fair with my ladies and we have lotsa laughter, again. Heh~ Am really glad my sis hit off well with them... Sigh... I wonder when will our next complete slumber be... But I guess it will never come, since too many factors to think of....

Celebrated qad's bdae last week. Once again, Happy belated bdae to you qad. May you see light in life and wont feel that 人生永远得那么痛苦！ hehe~ Hope you'll be happy always and may our dream come true, 7 yrs later. =)

Work have been rather routine. I am getting really sick of what I am doing and I am already having difficulty to see myself doing what I am doing right now in near future like, next yr? Times are bad. Can only take a step at a time. Like qad, I also hope tt 1 fine day I can lay my hands on 1 million buckeros then most of my problem will be solved....

Studies. BAD. I cant seems to study and I am like 1 month away from exams? Sigh. And ya, to put it in simpler words. I have not commence any proper revision yet. And I think I am gg to repeat tt history like how I fared for my Yr 1 Sem 1 exams in poly. How I wish I can earn a decent salary w/o having to study. This sucks.

I shall stop all my rantings.... I will post some pictures after this post. Till then, take care everyone!

Macdonalds

I kinda like studying at MacDonalds. It's kinda motivating and spur u on when u see many stranger comrades striving together with u. We shall all fight to win this battle! =)

其实。。。

其实我也在硬撑着。。。 看得出来吗？

好想快乐的过每一天，看似简单却一点也不容易。。。

生活中有那么多的未知数，要如何去掌控自己的生活中的点点滴滴还真的是一门学问。。。

也不想去理会别人对我的看法，不过我生来就特别在意外来对我的意见。要叫我如何不去理会？

老天爷啊，请赐我一枚人生指南针。。。 让我能看清楚我人生方向。。。 好吗？

I miss my life... back in poly....

I miss every single one of these people....

To lock or not to lock?

Am contemplating to lock up my blog. Nothing escape the eyes of Sg govt seriously. I've got nothing to hide nor do I felt that I've got anything interesting for others to probe. I am only hoping when I need a place to rant, this will be my 'ideal' place without me feeling 'unsafe'.

People, do leave me a message in msn or tagboard with your email (gmail pls....) so I can invite u to my blog. =)

Thanks!

Some Pictorial Recap...

Have not done any proper updates for the 1.5 months or so.... Shall do a pictorial posting. =D

Christmas Dinner @ 85 with my ladies!Finally got to meet these wonderful ladies! Cheerios to our >10yrs of friendship! A pity Mummy Annie is not in the pics though.... There'll always be another chance! ^_^

Lao Pa's 54th Birthday!

Dearest Lao Pa! Happy 54th birthday! I know you won't be reading my blog though. But I love u and mummy deep deep la. =p Nothing much but I just hope you'll be healthy and have a long long long and worry-free life!!! =)

Late Night Movie - Twilight

Dinner at this pasta joint by Sakae Sushi. Not bad. I kinda like the maggie-like pasta I had. Maybe we can hit the joint again soon. And that's Christmas, the carebear Jan brought along. So after the dinner + ice-cream at FEP, we headed for a late night movie! Heh... And something worth mentioning is, all of us watched Twilight before already. So it's like Ben, Jan and my 2nd time while the 3rd for Von! =p

Movie @ Lido again - Twilight againn...

Culprit for this silly decision is no doubt, BEN! But I enjoyed it la... Though I missed all my favourite scenes due to those vomitting episode... =( Nvm... Maybe we shall org a chalet this year and watched Twilight DVD together? Ladies ok? And err... Ben ok? Heh heh~ =p

* I am feeling so emo... Not Monday bluess... But work bluess..... =(

** Something is wrong. Very wrong. I shall slowly work my way out.

ASc CNY Gathering 2009

Had ASc CNY gathering yesterday and it's quite fun and nice to see these people again. It's a regret that we didn't manage to take photos at Roy's place and a group pic at Hazel's place. Nvm.. We shall do it next yr.

I shall let the photos do the talking. And yes, I shall see these people next year again. =)

R.I.P, Shin.

I've been following this blog, Shin's Cancer Blog.

I have to say she's really someone I admire for her courage. I do not know her, I just happened to bloghop to her blog and cant help but to feel so amazed by her strength to live. And not forgetting, Shin actually donated her body to Sg Medical Assoc for research purpose. 敬佩，敬佩！

Go on and read her blog... It will definitely set you thinking about life.

R.I.P, Shin. I am sure all angels will take care of you up in heaven. I also hope that medical technology will be even more advanced, to help all cancer patients.

Spree Spree Spree Away!

I have been spreeing a looooooooooooooot these days.... I'll be expecting my loots after cny.... And there'll be stuff from like.... 4 sprees? Woohoooo! I am so looking forward to lay my hands on my Majolica stuff! Cant believe how much Watson's is ripping for Majolica stuff! Ok la.. Not very expensive but still expensive than Taiwan and/or online la! -shakes head-

I am so gg to start a Torrid spree for my own..... Heh... Not many + size friends w/in my circle.. So this spree shall be for myself only. ^_^

And I am so gg to make my virgin order with VS! Pls make it a fuss free one!!!

This is a sooooooooo random post...zzz

K la.... Time for some serious updates....

Work:
Actually me and QAD know where the problem lies at for making us to feel so dreadry over work.... It's not that we only have 2 of us....It's not that we have a very bad sup.... She's pretty ok as compared to my previous sup @ e pharmacy.... But I guess it's just not our cup of tea... But yet, it seems really ok ... So now, I am practically passing day by day.... I guess I am not sick of this job. I am just sick of working... Never ever try to be a hero/heroine by saying you want to try and juggle school and work together.. It's tough. And when I say tough, it means VERY TOUGH. zzz~

School:
Disastrous. If I am clear all my subjs, I should really count my blessings.... Actually I kinda know how I will fare for my exams la... Shall make some backup plan....

Shall stop here..... Anyway~ HAPPY CNY TO ALL! ^_^

Post No: 102

Feeling: Really very tired and sticky~
Listening to: Nigakii Risa - Johnny He No Dengo

I guess the sping cleaning is coming to an end, like finally... Maybe with the final vaccuming and mopping of floor that's to be done tmr.... My room finally look a lil bit like a room. zzz

And ya, prelims date and exams dates are out. Time to get started.... So now I am seriously hoping that I will get started during my 1 week 'break'...

That's all for my very short update. Bye~

P/S: Jan, I sent your new friend picture to your email already. =D

Sian......

Exam dates is out alr....

This is bad.... Extremely bad.....

The 100th Post...

I very much want to do what I feel like doing...

I very much want to do something out of impulse (exclude impulse shopping)...

I very much want to follow my heart...

Can anyone out there allow me to do so without feeling guilty?

Happy 2009!

My current blog is officially 1 yr old... If I were to say how long I have been blogging... That will be around..... 6 yrs? Sigh... Old le la....

Let see, what did I achieved in 2008.... Maybe I can say...

1) Managed to curb myself from gg overseas with my really limited moola....(Or maybe it's restricted from travelling la...)

2) I finally left NHG. No regrets in leaving, but aint sure about me joining another statutory board. Maybe I am still in search of finding that suitable job for myself...

3) Finally started studying, which I also do not know if it's a right choice.. Suddenly I just felt that I should have just get that loan and get a degree in a yr or 1.5 yr... It's only a piece of paper anyway....

So now.... My 2009 resolution.... Even though I should say there isnt any point in setting any....

1) To know what I want

2) To pass all my papers. (I dont dare to dream of passing with flying colours lor....)

3) Pls let me enjoy the full course of my work.

4) Family be healthy and happy...

5) No problems with all relationships, be it friendships, kinship, colleagues etc....

6) Pls let me curb my spending habit. It's horrendous. I have not been able to save any money these 2 months... S

Alright... I shall stop here... Have to be realistic la.....

Alrites, HAPPY NEW YR PPLE!

And thanks a million who wished me happy birthday last yr! ^_^