It struck me hard...

Today I saw one of the patient that I really dread serving... It had been some time since she came.... She used to 'patronise' the clinic at least once a week or once every 2 weeks....

She used to trouble the PSAs by having to cancel her bill everytime she forgot to request for the medications she want...

She used to irritate the doctors by making them amending her prescription several times.. Because she just can't seem to remember what she want and tell the doctor at one go...

She used to irritate the hell out of me because she have got lotsa questions and can't seems to remember what I told her... And she will ask the same question over again and again...

I always 'bully' her by asking to go find the doctor herself to add the medications.. (This is SOP-right). I didnt offer to call the doctor to request the medications on her behalf before.... (We are not really allowed to do this... unless there's no other alternatives - nasty patients...)

I never help her to write the indications and instructions willingly on her medications label because she always ask the same old question....

Today she came....

No longer with her umbrella, no longer speaking in that loud and strong voice.... no longer staring at me/other pts with that big eyes....

She sat on her wheelchair that seems pretty new.... Eyes were half closed, can't really hear, can't really pay attention....

Her son seems to be more 'obedient' as he no longer argue with her in the pharmacy... No longer scolding her saying she's so troublesome... Instead, he stayed with her and offer to listen to our drugs dispensing.... And make her listen as well....

I also willingly to dispense with my really broken hokkien for the very first time... Sad isn't it... (I hate to dispense in hokkien, fyi...)

I still remember how she say she need to rush back home to cook dinner.... That's like 6 mths ago?

She look so weak and frail today... I didnt cry nor I tear... But I almost did.... My heart wrench at the sight of her.... She's around 80+ - 90 y/o... Though she can be deem as healthy at her age... But I cant help but to feel really sad when I see the change in her within these 2 years....

Somehow, I was thinking... Will her son be very helpless if ever 1 day Mdm SST left.... It seems like both of them depend on each other a lot....

I really cannot imagine... My own parents becoming like her in the future.... I cant imagine myself becoming like her in the future.....

And it is also today.... I understand the reason why I am still 'lingering' in NHG Pharm.

I hope I can let the other old folks out there to age more 'comfortably'. They may be down with several chronic diseases... They maybe feeling weak and helpless... But somehow when we, the service staff in healthcare shows that we do care and willing to help them... They will feel happier....

They may complain, they may scream at us saying how slow are we.... But they're still the patients...

Of course, there're black sheeps out there that criticise us when we do our job.... But there're also people who appreciate what we do (though they're the minority...)....

This incident did not rekindle the so called 'passion' and 'compassion' in me to stay on in healthcare frontline....

It made me realise, I will still hope I am able help whenever I can.... I will also take pride in what I do even if I detest doing it....

And this afternoon, I did my best in clearing patients... Giving them the clearest instructions I can give... Only to hope all their diseases can be lifted and be free from these illnesses....

So, please give me the strength to face it. Human will age and die... Please do give me the patience, to serve all patients with pride and empathy...

And last but not least, all people to be appreciative to give me that support and encouragement to stay on with the other frontline staff to help whatever we can...

Jia you... =)

I miss life in TP, badly...

I went to have a campus tour of TP this evening, alone...

I missed school life in TP so badly...

It was so much fun as compared to secondary school days...

And I am pretty sure it will be better than my upcoming p/t school life too...




Why do we have to grow up? Sigh....

My deepest condolences...

My deepest condolences to the 2 NSF who passed away on Tues and Wed respectively.

Got to know the regular (Pilot Trainee) whom passed away on Wed is the bf of a ASc jr and my friend's friend... Felt pretty sad by the news actually.. Hope she and the family will picked themself up asap...

And also, got to know a TP BMS(PST I think) senior who is in the batch before me passed away due to fever caused by viral infection. (Or purely viral infection?) earlier on this week. Don't know her personally but got to know about her thru Flowerpod earlier last yr. And she's only 24 this year. Sigh... Her last post in FP also says that she's down with a fever caused by viral infection. And who knows for the following day or 2, shes in ICU alr... Life's so unpredictable....

I really can't imagine anyone close/dear to me goe someday... Please please please be well and healthy and don't leave any people you love behind.

And as for me, I think I have become more paranoid. Things like 'What happen if I just die like that' actually set me to deep thinking mode recently...

Life's really fragile and unpredictable.. People, please do show the love you have for the people surrounding you while you can...

If ever 1 day I am gone, please please please help me tell my father & mother, I truly love the both of them....

I want to travel too!

Alrite.. Sis is gg to HKG next mth...

Sze Hui is planning for a Japan trip next yr....

When will my next overseas trip come?!?!?!??!!

Seriously, I think chance of my gg overseas next yr June is like.. 50% 50% only... SIGH!

Gek Sim Ah...

Just when I am looking thru HWZ earlier on, then I came across this article posted online...

UniSIM launches first local university part-time accountancy degree in collaboration with five public accounting firms

(http://www.unisim.edu.sg/uni/pub/gen/uni_pub_gen_content.cfm?mnuid=61&id=3496)

HO SEH BO!

Let me recap the reason why I did not choose UniSIM over SIM-UOL earlier on.

1. No Direct Honours/Honours
2. Course fee as expensive as compared to SIM Global Education
3. No accountancy. There's finance, but not really what I want to try.

Now? They're starting a degree program - Bacherlor of Accountancy (Hons). With 40% subsidy and industrial internship. GEK SIM AH!

And what, UniSIM accountancy will be studying FRS (Financial Reporting Standard) under SIngapore Standard. SIM-UOL will be studying FRS under UK standard....

AND WHAT'S MORE! UniSIM's Accountancy is awaiting accreditation from ACCA & ICPAS (Singapore Official Body for CPA - Certified Public Accountant). SIM-UOL A&F grads will need to go through with ACCA level 3 examinations or ICPAS professional examinations again before we can be a CPA in 3 years time. And in order to take ACCA level 3 exams and/or ICPAS professional exams, I must take certain modules in SIM-UOL. Sian not?!

And I think there's a high chance for UniSIM's application for accreditation to be approved since the 5 firms cooperating with them is pretty prestigious, considering that 1 of the Big 4 auditing firm - KPMG is one of the partners.

Haiz... Suan le....Let me be gek sim a bit more.... Then I need to get ready for school already.

SIAN AH~!

原来我什么都不想要。。。

没了。。。 放手了。。。心情也轻松起来了。。。 想回去，自己也很不踏实。。。 既然都是过去事了，就让我们往前看吧。。。 =）

School will officially starts on the 8th July for me. Not looking forward. So many people out there is telling me how tough it will be. How I will not cope with a full time job and school. How I will definitely suffer. Thank people, I understand all of you is trying to prepare me for what is coming, actually I don't need so much of all these constant reminders for now. All I need is you all to be there (maybe for a K session? =P ) if ever 1 day I really can't take the stress anymore.

And for the people who have been telling me I am not a material for studying, and I am not supposed to be so infilial to continue studying. I should be working and provide for my parents. Thank you too. You/Both of you have been a great help. You've let me realise how infilial, irresponsible and selfish I am. However I have got my own plannings. And coming from a not-so-well-to-do family should not deprive me the chance to study right? Why should a degree programe be catered to the rich ones only? Furthermore, I am providing for my own degree. I am still contributing to my household expenditures. I am still trying to fulfil the filial piety duties as much as I can. So can you (2) please leave some space for me? I am trying, really. I know I am really selfish to only think of myself. But all I want is a passport for me to search a better paying job to provide for my folks and myself. I hope I am not wrong holding on to this thought. So for the time being, please get off my back. And let me live my life as my own. I don't need your judgement for now, and maybe even in the future. I hereby sincerely thank you in advance.

Haiz~

I drank 3 cups of green tea already... And I am still feeling sleepy... And no, no coffee for me... =)

And, I am so tempted to start my stationary shopping!!

And QAD, I hope all goes on well for you. And I really hope 1 day nothing could stop us and just let us leave the shithole we're in now. =)

*Joanna, today your aunt actually asked me if I know u.. haha~ Anyway if she say my attitude not very good... Tell her to pardon me ah... Met a few of nasty patients just before her.. LoL~ And in any case, how did she recognise me? Don't tell me you told her 'very easy to recognise one... the big big round round jiu shi le....' =X hahaha~

It's a steal!

I finally got both a scanner & printer that can work!!! Hehe.. its those kinda all-in-one kinda printer/scanner la.... And I got it @ $88!!! What a steal! But I am $88 poorer now.. Can't wait for my next paycheck on the 28th JUNE la.... Sigh...

When life took a sharp turn...

Seems like pple around ain't really getting on well and fine... Can only hope/wish/pray that all will turn out to be good at the end of everything...

Work's still e same. Black sheep(s) here and there as usual. I can only say, empty vessels make the most noise. So think, before you speak. People will judge you by the messages you're conveying be it if that's your intention or not. Period.

Course briefing tmr, the fact that I am starting school soon is setting into me already. I am not feeling jittery but dreadry instead. Maybe I shld just kick the thought of wanting to resign in my mind and concentrate on other more important things. (LONG SERVICE AWARD!!! ^____^)

Am gonna stop here. Xing Guang Da Dao in a hour time. =D

I miss Taiwannnn~

I really miss Taiwan la... Nvm nvm... REN! I shall set my foot into Taiwan hopefully within the next 3 years time. (A lil too long, but I shall endure!)

Lemmingsssss

Lemmings Lemmings.... I need a new wallet anyway... Any kind generous soul out there?

WDNYYDDX (Figure it out yourself =P )

Heh heh... Had a dream last night... Still can remember vividly what happened. (there's this saying that if you can rmb your dreams vividly, it will not happen. I believe that will be the case too... =P ) Anyway its nice la.. LoL~ Funny yet impossible.. Heh heh.... Nvm... Shall be a secret for my own.... Tooooooo silly to be shared la... =X

Mood @ work have been rather good. Or maybe not good la. Just that I am more enthusiastic over drugs dispensing... Something is very wrong with me.. But oh wellll, it still beat being totally turn off-ed for dispensing right?

I guess my PMS period is over. 3 cheers for me pleaseeee. =D Guess its really one of the worse moodswings I ever had... Since its over, who cares! =D

And on a even happier note, I am gg for KBox, Kuishinbo session soon!! Say goodbye to money and hello to sinful happiness!! (^_^)

今天有一点high过头。其实有很多真经事要打出来的。 不过我想了想，觉得可能真的是我多心。所以也没去放在心上。过了就算了。因为。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。 我是一个好人！！！！ =D

Is power de lor..

Since I am so bored here.. As its my lunch time now.. Let me show u guys some vids...






IS POWER DE LORRR.....

For a moment..

I hate this feeling I am having now...

Not pms-ing yet I felt like I am pms-ing...

Feeling very down yet I don't know the reason why....

Felt like talking to someone yet I don't want to talk...

Can I just make up my mind what I want? Urgh...

Ignore me..

Bloghopped~

"I realised that there are too many older people out there who think that those younger ones are just a bunch of kids who knows nothing. And is frustrating when this old people start giving you advices like you know nothing. And they are the ones who think too highly of themselves. Gosh! What's wrong with these people?"

Was bloghopping and I see this statement said by this particular person/blogger... It's so freaking true la.. This kinda pple exist everywhere! Just because they are older they will always think their opinions is right... WTH is gg on in their brain/mind? Does the number of years living on planet earth equates to how intelligent you will be? Even with high IQ, it will be as bad if you have nil EQ.

One eg of such person, that freaking p.cist at my workplace. But anyway, I have met a lot of people like this in my life so far. So what can I do when dealing with them? Can only be superficial. Smile, nod, agree and don't talk except for some response for the sake of not being so rude. ZZZ!~ This sucks la.... I am becoming so superficial. But come and think about it, I don't even bother to be 'polite' to the p.cist at my workplace. No point la... He will never get what I am saying anyway.

Ah, whatever. Back to youtube and my dinner.. Bye.

[9pm update: Jan, my 6th sense is right la... =) ]

Let us...

A moment of silence for those innocent lives lost in Myanmar & Sichuan, Chengdu.

I can't help but to really feel for the people there... sigh...

Hectic days ahead....

A bbq tmr.. a party on sat... Man.. I really hope my flu won't break out into a very bad one... (i really hate coughs, soure throat & runny nose!)

Have been doing a lot of thinking these days. Or rather reflection. Realise I could have treat the people around me with more sincerity... At times I find myself so superficial, which I can't even take it myself. I also find that I am rather self-centered. Yeah, I hope I can be a better person.

Been trying to be nice to everyone at work (except for that irritating 2, cant be bothered with them). With all the pleases, thank yous & sorrys. It can really get tiring at times when you know people around you is so particular about all these. Sometimes I can't help but to felt that these pleases and thank yous make the people interaction so shallow and prevent it from developing into something with more depth.

But a person's mind and thoughts are amazing isn't it? All of us is given the same things at birth. Maybe some are less fortunate with birth defects. However most of us being similar at birth, actually managed to 'morphed' into an individual so different from one another. Intellectual wise, looks wise, emotional wise etc... How can one mindset differ so much? How can 1 so empathetic with animals and 1 so cruel to throw kittens/puppies down from 12th storey etc etc... (just an example.. though i do know pple who throw cats down.... )

I do not know what set me to think about all these. I am rather perplexed by the complexity of human emotions. Those emotions is still the main culprit/driving force for us to do something good/bad isn't it? Isn't there a way for us to control how we feel? Like the remote control in the movie 'Click' that can rewind/fast forward the events of life... I would want a remote control to control one's emotion... for a good cause. =D

Anyway I shall stop here. Somehow or rather, I find my post very pointless and random. Right?

Bye....

(let me healthy asap, please. let my back, cough, sore throat, runny nose back to normal when i wakes up tmr. =D GYMM please... =D )

I want to....

I WANT TO TRAVEL LA!!!!!!!!!

I'm like... so not in the mood for work...

My RELC package is laying on my comp desk for sooooooooooooooooo long already and I have yet to open up and read through it....

I am feeling so so so so bored can!

Actually I have got some thoughts to pen it down.. But I am rather lazy to do so.. So I'll blog about it the next time when I have got the mood to do so...

Before I go, I just want to say...

SCREW ALL THOSE WHATSOEVER ACCREDITATION!!!! ZZZZZ

I am ok...

Alrite.. I am ok la... Back is still painful.. but at least there's no crack or fracture or anything.. Just that I fall hard and hit my bone quite hard too... =)

Things at home is extremely gloomy... I dont know how to let them know I am feeling lost, confused too... I guess they will never come to terms that I DO FEEL STRESSED UP BY THEIR MATTERS TOO...

As much as you want my comments, you all aint willing to listen. What you all expect from me?

When I say I shall care no more. What you all want, you all go decide yourself. Now I become the bad person. What you all want from me? What you all want me to say to you? Can just type out a script? I will just act out for you. I am feeling tired AS WELL.

If only they can read what I am typing here..

Of course I would hope that things can become MUCH better... But when both is not willing to listen. And both think their support (me) is not helping them and making them feel like unwanted in the family, things will not become better...

我真的不想管了。。。

I am ok, no worries. Guess I am done with my update. Ciaoz~

So contradicting..

I have been thinking of tking MC today.. However had decided that I should save up my MCs for the later part of the year... So I dunno if it's cuz QAD left Silkair, her MC curse is passed down to me or its just my luck...Guess its e latter... (QAD! Jk la.. hehe~)

Yesterday morning started off really bad with an extremely heavy rain... Were thinking of my really slippery sandals... Luckily my dad agreed to send me to the TP busstop... Then followed by massive jams despite the fact that I went out 15 mins earlier than usual, I reached tpy inter like 20 mins later than usual..

My 'glorious' arrival at the TPY inter is accompanied by a really nice fall on my back... Guess this fall really mark the worse slip/fall so far... The pain is... I dont know how to describe.... I can't sit at all can... Maybe I can, but the getting up part is really torturous.... My colleagues' guess is tt I had hurt my tailbone/spine.. dunno la... It still hurts..

Now I can't lie down. I cant sit... Alrite, not so bad.. I can sit n lie down.. Just that it isnt easy... I kept on waking up in e middle of the night due to the pain and discomfort... Now, as much as I wan to keng MC... I would rather to be at work now... Sigh..

And ya, I will be off to the polyclinic to see e Dr later... Not sure if I would need a X-ray... I seriously hope its nothing serious! Sigh.. Suay la....

I guess my last 36 bucks to survive till 25th will be depleted by today.. Bless me pls..

-outz-